Did you know that the rest of the world is Communist? It’s true! They celebrate something called “Labor Day” on May 1st, where the sweaty farmers and grubby factory workers get to pretend that they contribute to society or something. We patriotic Americans of course know that May 1st is really supposed to be “Loyalty Day,” where we renew our vows to our president and refuse to think impure thoughts about poverty or health care or Red China. Honestly, it’s more fun than Lent.
So you can imagine what a slap in the face it was that Venezuela chose yesterday of all days to enter into public-private partnerships with multinational oil firms. The symbolism was not lost on Time Magazine, which notes that it was all part of Hugo Chavez’ “garish knack for making the world think he's the most radical of radicals.”
But, Time argues, the move is not radical at all. They note that virtually every oil rich nation on the planet has already done the same thing, and in less U.S.-friendly ways. Frankly, I’m not sure if it’s even ok to think these kinds of thoughts so close to Loyalty Day. If true, it would mean that Neil Cavuto, Bill O’Reilly, Kay Bailey Hutchison, Rudy Giuliani and the Wall Street Journal Editorial Board have been faking this story all along.
For me, it’s easier to believe that Time is has been infiltrated with effete May-poll twirling pinko saboteurs. If Loyalty Day is to mean anything, dear readers, we must be ever-vigilant against this type of unorthodox journalism, for Jesus is not free, and Freedom will soon return.
