Sigh. Aging beauty queen Maria Conchita Alonso has been a walking, yammering cry for help for the past decade. It’s sad really, without a Love Boat or Hollywood Squares around to keep her overly-botoxed “Face of the Venezuelan Opposition” in some marginal spotlight, it’s come to this: Homegirl held a press conference this week and begged photographers to take pictures up her skirt. She shaved and everything.
Ok, we’ll bite, but only on account of our commitment to telling all sides of the Venezuelan story. Join us for “Maria Conchita’s Tired Old Beaver: A Life in Pictures,” after the jump.
"Hey boys, I suppose you're wondering why I called you here today..."
"I have something really, really important to show tell you."
"What's the matter? Stop making those gagging noises! That's not funny! I used to be a huge star!
Oh fuck off."
"That's it. I'm going to take a nap. You just keep taking pictures of my cooch. We'll see who's laughing once I jumpstart my career."
"I may be a Venezuelan, but I've got a Brazilian! Hah ha. Hey! Where the fuck are you going?? Get back here!! Arnold! Are you listening? Running Man II! Just promise me you'll think about it...please..."
