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Once You Magically Teleport Yourself Away from Your Jungle Kidnappers You’ve Surrendered Your Right To Privacy In My Book, Kid.

Hey remember that kid in Colombia that was born into captivity and magically may have turned up at a Bogota orphanage just in time for Uribe to scuttle the hostage negotiations right after the U.S. embassy called? That was weird! Unfortunately, we may never know if he’s is the real Emmanuel or not on account of the kid’s fundamental right to privacy, so we’re just going to have to trust them on this, k? So please stop paying attention or otherwise asking questions.

Oh except that “IPS found out that voices within the Democratic Party in the United States and in Europe have called for a European commission to carry out independent DNA tests on ‘Emmanuel II’ and the Rojas family” because nobody actually trusts the Colombian authorities.

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