While Colombia has managed to parlay a horrific civil war into a no-questions-asked 500 zillion dollar gringo cash pipeline, right-wing Peruvian President Alan Garcia can barely manage enough face time with Condi to get a dumb trade deal passed. But things are going to change now because he's got a plan.
Sure it may look like Peru is at a distinct disadvantage here—they did, after all, kill off most of their own leftists back in the '80s—but that doesn't mean that Garcia's political relevance has to rot away at the bottom of some Ayacucho ravine, too. There's no end to the Red Scares you can find when you put your mind to it:
>>> Take the health clinics. It turns out that Peru is home to dozens of anti-poverty centers funded by the Venezuelan government that provide all manner of medical treatment for poor people. So naturally Garcia is backing a congressional investigation into the clinics' bank and phone records to show that they totally represent a terrorist threat to the nation.There you have it folks: terrorists, Venezuelans and free pap smears all in one country. Can Plan Peru be far behind? Just a few billion dollars annually might turn Peru into America’s newest favorite blood drenched war zone in the region. Alan Garcia’s dreams are THIS BIG.
>>> Also embassies. Don’t get him started about the new one Venezuela is building in neighboring Bolivia, which he believes is maybe going to be a citadel of Bolshevik expansionism where Chavez will “coordinate Venezuela's joint operations in the region with its leftist allies Cuba and Nicaragua.">>> Oh and some Peruvian drug dealer killed a cop yesterday which means that the dreaded Shining Path is resurgent probably and must be stopped!
