After two years of heroically forcing its people to shiver and die on principle, this week New Hampshire became the last New England state to accept cheap heating oil from Venezuela. And so the final domino has fallen. Start learning Spanish, pussies!
Apparently at $4.68 a gallon, heating oil prices were starting to affect more than just the poor, the only segment of New Hampshire society to whom “Live Free or Die” ever actually applied. So today of course the Concord Monitor rushes to explain why the previous ban on Venezuelan assistance was a terrible idea from the get-go, some Communist argument about greedy U.S. corporations or something. Anyway the point is our new capitol is Mexico City and you’ll be getting your paycheck in ameros from here on out, crybabies.
