BoRev.Net

Once upon a time, Bolivia had a very special president. Unlike other Bolivian presidents, this one did not speak Spanish, because he really was an American who grew up in Iowa. How can it be that there is a Bolivian president who does not speak Spanish? Ha ha that is a question for James Carville, for he put him there to rule on behalf of the United States.

And rule he did. This president, "Goni," to his friends ("El Gringo" to everyone else), began to divide up the country's mineral wealth and distribute among powerful US businesses. Over time this made the Bolivians very angry, and they began to march in the streets.

Day after day they marched, demanding that this foreigner-president respect their homeland. One day, Goni grew so angry at their protests that he sent his military to the streets to kill all of the demonstrators one by one. You see in Goni's mind, they were not really people at all, just Indians.

Goni was forced to flee Bolivia, his beloved "home," and return to the welcoming embrace of Chevy Chase, Maryland. He lives there still, serving as an esteemed "Member Emeritus" of the Inter-American Dialogue, because the Dialogue, like Goni himself, doesn't much care about killing Indians.

But our story doesn't end there, for now Bolivia has a new president. This president believes that Indians are real people after all. And do you know why? Because this president is an Indian himself! Imagine that. So today this Indian President sent a formal extradition request to the United States, so that Goni may be reunited with his adopted home, and brought to trial on charges of genocide. And everybody lived happily ever after, the end.