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February 2009 Archives

February 1, 2009

Titulares & Asininity

  • If Hugo Chavez would just stop criticizing the mass murders of Palestinian school children, we might be able to stop the terrible scourge of vandalism once and for all.
  • Barack Obama and Evo Morales will now team up to kill the world's white people. Happy, libruls?
  • Chavez, Correa, and Aleida Guevara pay a musical tribute to Che, but only Raf knows all the words.
  • One problem with empowering Indigenous communities of course is that Indians are brutal, evil, subhuman beast-men.
  • The FMLN is up 10 percentage points in the latest round of El Salvador polling.

February 2, 2009

Guess What? You're Not Crazy, The Media Is

FAIRgraph.jpgHey sometimes does it seem like this one country, Colombia, with the hemisphere's most cartoonishly awful record of human rights abuses gets some pretty terrific editorial coverage here in the US? And how next-door neighbor Venezuela, where the human rights situation is largely relegated to the "I got fired from my government job" variety, gets the opposite treatment? You're not nuts, as it turns out. There's been a study.

Venerable media watchdogs Fairness and Accuracy In Reporting just put out this analysis of actual human rights problems in both countries, compared with the human rights-themed editorials in the US media. The results confirm every cynical thought you ever had about press bias, and some you may not have thought of yet. FAIR's conclusion? The major media "have subordinated crucial human rights questions to what they see as the U.S.'s interests in the region." Freedom is on the march!

February 3, 2009

Crappy Birthday!

10thBirthday.jpgAww, so this little Bolivarian experiment turned 10 yesterday. It's all potty trained but probably won't be getting weird body hair/odor for another couple of years. Anyway we've invited all the English language press around for a little party, and they brought gifts! Of terrible "insight." Let's see what we've got here...


  • The BBC sez that many Venezuelans think this Chavez fella is just swell, while others, not so much. Also they say it's hard to get accurate information on Venezuela, because there's so much terrible bias. Haha no kidding!

  • The Christian Science Monitor explains how Chavez is a "polarizing" figure on account of there aren't many social programs for rich people. They also find "one chavista" to talk about this super polarizing concept, "dignity."
  • AP says that Chavez celebrated by meeting with other governments, leftist governments, working to "counter U.S. economic influence in the region." (It was a trade meeting).
  • Writing for the Guardian's Comment Is Free thingy, Ben Dangl explains how health and literacy programs have changed the lives of millions of Venezuelans.
  • Reuters explains how a national holiday is really some sort of repressive action because, you know, Reuters.
  • The Miami Herald feature story begins, "One-time soldier and failed coup-plotter Hugo Chávez celebrates..." blah blah blah.
  • AFP calls Chavez "fiercely anti-US," and "fiercely anti-liberal" (?) because somebody needs a thesaurus, fiercely.

And oh, hey the Guardian even hosted this little debate with two (2) different opinions and everything. How polarizing!

February 4, 2009

Wow This Here Lithium Story Sounds Interesting Hey Wait

lithium.jpgHey did you know that Bolivia has the world's largest supplies of this one valuable yet toxic light mineral, and that it might become a lightning rod in the country's fight against multinational exploitation?

Yeah well of course you did because everyone else was writing about it last week. But now it's doubly true because it's in the New York Times. There goes Simon Romero, just cold copying everybody else's work and putting his name on it, like always.

Next Stop, Fax Machine

dumbblogbook.jpgSpeaking of the New York Times, they're jumping headlong into this whole "web-log" (or "blog") craze! And you said it would never catch on

As savvy readers know, blogs are a great way to keep your readers up to the minute in this fast paced world, like with this one-sided-but-interesting analysis of Bolivia's oil nationalization, which some CFR neocons just put out in...wait, May 2006? They're blogging just now on some piece of shit report that's three years old?? Lord no wonder Romero is so far over his head.

February 5, 2009

IRI, Not Just Screwing Up Latin America

Quote for the day:

"Supporting democracy and managing political outcomes are two different objectives for a nonpartisan, foreign-based organization or country," he wrote, "and sometimes there is a conflict that requires a choice."
Managing political outcomes. Heh. This would be International Republican Institute East Africa director Kenneth Flottman, after learning that his bosses deliberately withheld exit poll results in Kenya's presidential elections last year, because they showed the US-favored candidate losing. The confusion led to "violence that would leave more than 1,000 people dead before the two sides negotiated a power-sharing deal two months later."

Seriously How Are We Supposed To React To This?

morph.jpgYou wanted your stoopid hope 'n change? Well here's your stoopid hope 'n change, via Al Giordano:

During a State Department press briefing this morning in Washington by Acting Department Spokesman Robert Wood, he fielded the first question on Latin American relations in two weeks of these daily briefings. From the State Department transcript:

QUESTION: Is the U.S. Government concerned about this election, this referendum on -- in Venezuela on the 15th of February, and Chavez trying to stay in power?

MR. WOOD: Look, that's an internal matter with regard to Venezuela, and I don't have anything more to say on that.

Oh! So it's an "internal matter," is it? So we have to like go "in" to Venezuela to deal with the matter, is that it, Mr. Wood? So just how do you propose we overthrow the democratically elected government this time, MR. WOOD? Tell us, Al:
This newly-stated respect for Venezuela's internal governance marks a clear break from previous US policy that regularly sought to meddle in the country's democratic affairs.
Oh.

February 6, 2009

Here's Evo Morales, Just Eatin' Some Lunch Again FOR IRAN

EvoEats.jpgY'all remember that last month Bolivia, along with Venezuela, cut off diplomatic ties to Israel after some wingnut "center-left" Israeli prime minister decided the best way to "make peace" would be to raze Gaza, blow up a bunch of schools and hospitals and kill many hundreds of kids and grandmas, right? Now if we lived in a reasonable world, that would seem like a pretty sane, even understated, reaction. But we live in a world where the Uribe's get their Freedom Medals and the Kissinger's get their Nobel Prizes, so hey.

Anyway did you know that the bloody invasion and slaughter wasn't even the REAL REASON for the diplomatic breakdown? According to McClatchy correspondent (and longtime Miami Herald douchenozzle) Tyler Bridges, Bolivia "broke relations with Israel to protest the Gaza invasion -- even though Israel doesn't have an ambassador in Bolivia -- in apparent solidarity with Iran, an implacable foe of Israel."

There you go. It was all to impress you, Iran, for Valentine 's. Because, you know, Iran hasn't had diplomatic relations with Israel since Ayatollah Khomeini. But whatever, "solidarity," right? And it's Tyler fucking Bridges, so no need to document that or anything.

This bizarre and almost certainly false non-sequitur is all part of an even longer piece with "Iran" and "U.S. Backyard" in the headline, so you can only imagine...

February 7, 2009

Freed Hostage Really Hates that One Fella, Uribe

Quote for the Day:

"I say it clearly: I feel with all my heart that Uribe did nothing for our freedom,"
--Former FARC hostage Alan Jara, a couple of hours after he was released from 7 ½ years in captivity. He goes on and on: "And I don't say it with resentment, nor do I say it with bitterness for the years I had to spend there (in the jungle), but because that is the analysis." So there you go.

February 8, 2009

Yesterday Once More

reagantime.jpgBack in the 80s, in an effort to drum up American support for the brutal war against popular leftist movements in Central America, the Reagan Administration famously fanned fake stories of Sandinista anti-Semitism, which the major media largely published without investigating. The campaign has since become a textbook example of government propaganda efforts studied and decried on college campuses across the country. Nowadays of course we're wiser and more cynical and we'd never ever fall for crap like that again (ha ha).

Last week a synagogue in Caracas was broken into at night and vandalized with terrible hate speech. It was an ugly, nasty crime with no apparent links to the government, except, of course, in the US press coverage, where many of the stories have been pretty much snatched wholesale from the headlines of 1983. This one today in the Post will surely be studied one day as a classic of the genre. From the second paragraph:

President Hugo Chávez condemned the Jan. 30 attack, which has shaken the country's political establishment. But Jewish leaders, supported by Israeli and U.S. officials, have said the populist government's often incendiary rhetoric toward the Jewish state, coupled with rising anti-Semitic diatribes in pro-government media, has helped foster a climate of intolerance.
You see how that works? Criticism of Israeli foreign policy "helped foster a climate" of anti-Semitism leading to violence, according to "Israeli and U.S. officials." Also, diatribes, not in government publications, but in the "pro-Government media," have contributed to the problem. So there you go, this terrible crime would never have happened if Chavez would just muzzle the press and keep his mouth shut about the Gaza massacre, for freedom. Thwk thwk thwk. What's that sound? Oh hey it's Otto Reich, masturbating.

Titulares & Asininity

  • If there is anyone Alvaro Uribe hates more than leftists, it's reporters. And human rights activists. And critics. Man he just wants them all dead.
  • GAO: Maybe $32 million dollars a year to make dumb TV shows for Cubans who will never see it is sort of a stupid idea.
  • Oh boy now everybody wants to run against Rafael Correa
  • Oh jeez now the Vatican offices in Caracas have been trashed by unknown assailants. Why does Chavez hate the Christians?

February 9, 2009

The Miami Herald Has Adopted An Official Policy of Anti -Sensemaking

Of course the Herald goes there. They are v. v. concerned about this new "official policy of anti-Semitism" Venezuela's got. Wait, official what? Oh right, let's see: Venezuela has relations with Iran, criticized the massacre in Gaza, and "tolerates" anti-Semitic writings in its independent press, so naturally every random, despicable act of violence or hate speech from any illiterate yahoo is now, officially, "official." Awesome. My favorite line from this dingbat editorial:

Mr. Chávez issued a pro-forma condemnation [of the Synagogue attack], but he would be more believable if he had not led the way in attacking Israel for the recent conflict in Gaza.
What can you even say to conflation of that magnitude? Seriously, people. You're an actual newspaper, not some mouth breathing fucknut on the comment boards at RedState. Lucky for you "tolerating" first amendment principles isn't just a Venezuelan concept.

Ooooh, Barracuda!

A reader writes:

When I'm at work, I'm blocked from accessing many websites. I just discovered that includes yours

ooooh!barracuda.jpg

Dear Readers, this is a Terrible! Injustice! Clearly a political plot by the our autocratic government to stifle dissent! Any fair, uncensored analysis would note that we are "tasty" and offensive.

February 10, 2009

Latin American Press Coverage: Just Cold Runnin' The Numbers

MetrixMaster.jpgHi Everybody, I'm Metrix. BoRev consistently points out the skewed quality of U.S. media coverage of South America, but for number geeks, the quantity of the coverage is equally fascinating.

You'd expect that the amount of U.S. news coverage a country receives would be at least somewhat related to the country's economy, population or military power. But the numbers tell a different, and cryptic, story. I'll be back often to explore the mad numbers game of Latin American Press coverage, but for today let's start with what I suspect will be a long journey down the rabbit hole.

The population of Brazil (close your eyes and guess first, no one get this right) is 190 million people. That's 2/3rds of the way to us and bigger than 216 of the 221 countries in the world! Venezuela, in humble contrast, is 28 million people--less than 1/6th the size. I mean fucking Canada has more people than this place. Brazil's GDP is five times Venezuela's but do you ever hear about Brazil? Could most Americans distinguish its leader from Castro if you put a beret on his head and stuck a cigar in his mouth? Likely not, because Venezuela actually gets more TV and radio coverage in the U.S. than its neighbor to the south. Way more, if you put it into proportion. Let's run the numbers, after the jump.

Continue reading "Latin American Press Coverage: Just Cold Runnin' The Numbers" »

CNN Guy Gets Punk'd, By Nice UN Lady

Hey you guys should all learn Spanish and then come watch this, because it's funny. Ok, back? So this TV station, CNN "en Español," invited some nice lady from the United Nations Economic Commission on Somethingorother onto some program recently, to catch Hugo Chavez in a terrible lie. Apparently the big guy had gone on the teevee once to say her UN group praised Venezuela for its wonderful achievements in equality, which is obvious nonsense because Chavez is a socialist who once called George W. Bush the devil.

At the height of the big gotcha moment the lady spoils it by going, "um yeah it's true, obvs, and let's talk about all these awesome accomplishments in Venezuela, blah blah blah." Then they go to commercial, the end. The VIO has an English transcript, here.

February 11, 2009

Titulares & Asininity

  • Despite the intense media campaign against him, Hugo Chavez remains inexplicably popular among Venezuela's poor, who continue to selfishly prioritize "education" and "health clinics" and "the overall well-being of their children."
  • The Moonies are concerned that "joint Iran / Bolivia mining operations" are maybe just secret code for...nuclear bombs!
  • If you come from a left-leaning Latin American country, you're now going to have to be fingerprinted and pay a bribe "processing fee" to get into England, but no hard feelings, hey.
  • Forget the oil money, Bolivia's going to start building low-income housing out of Venezuelan petroleum waste byproduct, eww.
  • Oh jeez here's a frightening video featuring the mayor of Buenos Aires singing Freddie Mercury.

Brave American Takes Courageous Stand For Slave-Owner Rights in Bolivia

larsens.jpgBy Revolter

Bolivia's National Institute of Agricultural Reform plans to seize 139 square miles from 5 Santa Cruz families for keeping Indigenous Guarani farmers as "virtual slaves", and give their traditional lands back to the ingrate Injuns. One of the landowners is renowned non-Bolivian Ronald Larsen, whose American family is said to own another 162 sq mi in the eastern department. Despite a lack of jail-time for keeping SLAVES, Larsen and his crazy crowd are not going quietly. Some are calling for civil disobedience to stave off the land seizures. Others advocate more extreme measures:

While Larsen insists he won't turn to violence, he says his neighbors might: "They've said it on television: 'We're not leaving alive.'" Larsen is also upset that the government recently began giving out food in Guarani communities -- to break the people's dependence on him for employment, he says. "These people, their main thing in life is where they're going to get their next bowl of rice," he said. "A few bags of rice buys a lot of support."

Classy. Anyway he should know. The Montana native has been "hiring" and "educating" Guaranis living on his Bolivian ranch since 1969. For more on this great symbol of gringo generosity and his famous sexpot/dirtbag son, check out El Duderino's post from last year.

February 12, 2009

WaPo: Random Blog Comment in Venezuela is Evidence of State Sponsored Hate

Well this was inevitable. Here's the Washington Post's friendly editorial page today, with the headline "Mr. Chavez Vs. the Jews," in which we learn that Hugo Chavez is leading a terrible campaign of anti-Semitism because 1) He opposed the invasion of Gaza, like the rest of the world, 2) A group of dipshits attacked a synagogue (they were arrested), and, importantly, 3) a "commentator" on a "pro-government Web site," made some ugly anti-Semitic comment.

Yes, the Washington Post has now cited a blog commenter as major evidence of state sponsored hate. Welcome to our American conversation, as moderated by Michelle Malkin.

BTW: Don't miss the link at the bottom of the editorial: "Have a different view on this issue? Debate a member of the editorial board in the Editorial Judgment discussion group." Ha ha. Play nice now, kids.

Jackson Diehl Responds To Criticism with Hilarious "Lying" Strategy

eviljacksondiehl2.jpgThe "Editorial Judgment" thingy at the Washington Post, where they allow anonymous posters to comment on their stupid opinion pieces, is sort of not working out the way they intended, maybe. Today everybody from righteous leftists to the unapologetic opposition dude at Caracas Chronicles is calling Diehl out on his dumb anti-Semitism bullshit. Now Diehl has responded, with hilarious lies! Let's laugh at them, shall we, after the jump.

Continue reading "Jackson Diehl Responds To Criticism with Hilarious "Lying" Strategy" »

February 13, 2009

Ha Ha Simon Romero Just Slays Me

classic.jpgWell the dust has settled, arrests have been made, and now we learn that the frightening Caracas synagogue attack was actually a robbery, hatched by former security staff. Even the guard who got tied up was in on it. Quico, the self-described "ranting Chavez hater" from Caracas Chronicles notes it was "an inside job relying on help from one of the guards, and that the desecration of the temple was an attempt to throw off investigators." Whew. Glad that's over. THANK GOD NOBODY JUMPED TO CRAZY CONCLUSIONS OR ANYTHING.

Naturally Simon Romero filed his hysterical rendition in the New York Times today, with none of this new, presumably noteworthy context included, because he just copied it from 3-day-old wire stories, like always.

February 14, 2009

The New York Times and Democracy, An Overview

Hey wait wasn't there something else going on in Venezuela this weekend? Venezuelans were going to vote on something tomorrow...pogroms, maybe? No wait sorry, I'm getting my NYT fear-featurettes mixed up.

Tomorrow Venezuelans will vote on ending term limits for federal and state officials. As regular Times readers know, the right to run indefinitely for re-election is "the bedrock of American democracy," for New York City, pretty much ignorable for Colombia and, of course, desperate and autocratic for Venezuela. So complicated, these things!

We made a flow chart to help.

The Washington Times and Democracy, An Overview

No flow chart required:

Referendum has long been a favorite tool of authoritarian rulers to give a veneer of legitimacy to their reckless abuse of power. Plato's critique of democracy tells us that tyrants are born from the angry masses, that freedom and justice find no safety when the passions of the mob are unleashed. This is the primary reason the Founding Fathers rejected democracy in favor of republicanism.
Wait, we're not a democracy? No wonder we can't export it for shit! And yeah in case you forgot, we're still just talking about a referendum to end term limits here, such as in "passionate mob"-run countries like Canada.

February 15, 2009

Venezuela Votes! (And Other Terrible Threats to Democracy)

voteordie.jpgCheap wine? Check. Google trigger finger? Check. Sit back people, we're "covering" this Venezuela referendum thingy until it's over or we pass out or get bored, whichever comes first. Feel free to post rumors and gossip in the comments section or whatever.

8:01 PM: Oh great "Officials from both camps said their early exit polls showed their side had won, although they did not publish their results."

8:05 PM: Opposition blogger Quico is already calling a massive 9-point win for the Chavez camp 54-45%

8:09 PM: Al Jazeera is calling it for the "Si" vote, as per exit polls.

8:27 PM: Don't miss FAIR's analysis of the press coverage leading up to the referendum, btw. You'll be shocked, no you won't.

8:41 PM: The Times of London--"The latest poll, by an independent Venezuelan agency Datanalisis, showed Mr Chávez leading his opponents by 6 points."

8:43 PM: In case you're not reading the comments, Otto's got additional exit poll results. But it's Otto, so, you know.

8:49 PM: This just in from Simon Romero!!! "Tight vote expected in Venezuela." Jesus, this guy.

9:03 PM OMG "the No votes appeared to be ahead"! In Miami.

9:24 PM: Miami Herald is calling it for Chavez. The couldn't bring themselves to write a story more than one line long, though. Check back often for funny/deranged commenters.

10:58 PM: Ooh! Ah! Blah blah blah blah blah.

February 16, 2009

Bizarre "Financial Downturn" Might Hit Venezuela One Day, So Nobody Celebrate Yesterday's Referendum, Umkay?

recession.jpgHappy day after that referendum, Hugo Chavez! It's too bad you can't even enjoy one second of it, because unlike the rest of the world, your country might soon experience some sort of "crisis," with "finances"! This economic hardship, exclusive to Venezuela, seems to have sprung from shady mortgage lending in California and negligent financial oversight from the US Department of Treasury. Ensuing market pressures have bypassed Mexico and Central America entirely, instead winding their way down to Caracas, where they will soon bring ECONOMIC DISASTER, which will completely negate any sort of happiness you or your supports might have felt today. Sorry!

Lest anybody think of celebrating your historic electoral victory, the terrible reality of your impending financial predicament was explained today in nearly every English language analysis of yesterday's referendum.

But it gets worse, I'm afraid. Your government is vulnerable during these sorts of economic problems, because unlike the rest of the world, your popularity is somehow dependent on your ability to lavish "basic needs" on your citizenry, such as education, health care, and a national defense infrastructure, so naturally any cutbacks you make, will lead to your inevitable defeat at the ballot box next time around.
: (

Wow

"The US has cautiously welcomed Venezuela's vote to scrap limits on how often politicians, including President Hugo Chavez, can run for office. State Department spokesman Noel Clay praised 'the civic spirit' of the referendum on Sunday."

February 17, 2009

Ex-Ambassador Is Pretty Sure Uribe Was Lying about Not Being a Drug Dealer

UribeDrugDealer.jpgSo like 15 years ago the US ambassador to Colombia confronted then-Governor Uribe with allegations that he was an international drug dealer and a "close, personal friend" of Pablo Escobar. Uribe was shifty and evasive and had a ring of white powder around his nose (haha not really), so the ambassador wrote a stern note to the State Department and promptly forgot all about it UNTIL NOW, when there is a new guy in the White House who probably won't have him killed for making this terrifying disclosure.

Florida Congressman Unequivocally Supports 10% of Argentina's Jewish Community

AlceeHastings.jpgComical Florida Congressman Alcee Hastings has just introduced House Resolution 174, ostensibly to confront "the growing threat of anti-Semitism throughout South America," but in reality nobody knows what this is all about, because it is a very, very confusing document. Over the course of its 16 disparate "Whereas" clauses, the resolution condemns the synagogue robbery in Venezuela (fine), describes anti-Semitism in Argentine schools (yikes), thanks Venezuela for their response to the synagogue incident (what?) and concludes that Latin America should censor "anti-Jewish coverage in the media" (eek), among other things.

But the weirdest part of the resolution (and probably the reason no other member of Congress has signed on to it), is its statement in support of "Argentina's Jewish community of approximately 25,000." Um, yeah. Argentina is home to one of the world's largest Jewish communities outside Isreal, so who's going to support the other 200,000, dingdong?

February 18, 2009

Holy Jesus! Inca Kola News Brings Down $8 Billion $9.5 Billion $50 Billion Fraud Scheme!

otto.pngWhen our little Otto started blogging last year, we knew he was going to stir up trouble, but who coulda guessed that he'd single-handedly bring down the entire global economy? Way to go, chief!

Last week Otto and a smattering of Caracas-based bloggers started to get wind of rumors within Venezuelan finance circles that this one Caribbean bank thingy might not be all it was touted to be. Their investigations started to get picked up in the business wires, leading to further investigations that snowballed into the "Great Multi-Billion Dollar Stanford Financial Fraud Scandal of '09," leading to general panic, bank runs, and the impoverishment of thousands. Meanwhile the douchebag who started it all is on the run, a "fugitive financier."

As Mick Weinstein of Yahoo Finance put it:

"The proliferation of smart, critical bloggers (critical of institutions and, importantly, each other), coupled with large news outlets slashing payrolls due to the economics of online journalism, means we can count on many more important market-oriented stories to reach the public via blogs."

Um, "great"? Don't worry people, you won't get any of that sort of bullshit from this blog.

Added Bonus! Read Otto's ***EXCLUSIVE *** MUST CITE BOREV.NET OR WHATEVER*** Email reflections on the scam, his role uncovering it, and his "small cog," after the jump!

Continue reading "Holy Jesus! Inca Kola News Brings Down $8 Billion $9.5 Billion $50 Billion Fraud Scheme!" »

February 19, 2009

Titulares & Asininity

  • Cowardly Obama administration SURRENDERS to world's #1 top global terrorist, Hugo Chavez
  • Model democracy "Colombia" just pounded a rural school with "bombs, rockets and machine-gun fire." Fortunately, it was "empty of students, owing to a lack of teachers."
  • The NYT is sort of hypocritical when it comes to term limits.

February 20, 2009

N.Y.T. and Irony: Together In Perfect Harmony!

Remember this creepy scene from The Revolution Will Not Be Televised (minute mark 7:12) where the wild-eyed coupsters declare that Venezuela's constitution is no longer valid, and then they laugh and cheer as some scary dude dissolves the National Assembly and the Supreme Court and installs some evil midget as supreme ruler?

Well the guy that authored the, um, "legal?" decree authorizing the whole bizarre departure from democracy was a gentleman named Allan Brewer Carias. Today, naturally, the New York Times has published a long, crazy interview with this fucknut, where he expresses his deep, sincere, fake concerns that ending term limits has made Venezuela a "totalitarian regime." Term limits!

Opposition blog Caracas Chronicles is pissed that the Times would make some comic book evildoer the face of the Venezuelan opposition. Because, you know, they've got an image to maintain.

Well You Knew This Story Was Inevitable

BatboyChavezStanford&U.jpg

You'll never guess who was the real force behind the multi-billion dollar Stanford investment fraud dealie. Thanks, Reuters!

February 22, 2009

Literary World Shocker: New Doug Schoen Book Is Crap!

DougSchoensDumbBook.jpgDisgraced fraud pollster and Fox News commentator Doug Schoen adds another tragic item to his shame résumé today: failed author. Writing for the Washington Post Book Review, Linda Robinson simply eviscerates his new book about how Hugo Chavez is the next Osama bin Laden. Yes, seriously, this is Doug Schoen's thesis.

The book, says Robinson, is littered with "hyperbole and unsupported allegations," notably with its biggest allegations of terrorist support. Also, she says Schoen probably should have disclosed that he's been on the payroll of Venezuelan opposition political parties for the last few years. And besides that the book is just dumb.

Here it gets funny: Robinson should know a thing or two about "hyperbole and unsupported allegations," because a few years back she wrote her own notorious fear piece for US News & World Report (with pretty much exactly the same title as the Doug Schoen book) that prompted protest from the Venezuelan embassy and even denials from the fucking Pentagon. If even this right-wing ladydouche is hollering about Schoen's journalistic sloppiness, even at the risk of saying something nice about Chavez, then homeboy actually is the biggest hack of all time. Either that or it's some sort of wingnut catfight, which is even kind of better.

February 23, 2009

Funny Spin of the Day

tellittothehand.pngHaha Peru's loser president gets an invisible handjob. From the Dow Jones Newswire, natch:

The promotion of private investment and an improved image of Peru abroad boosted President Alan Garcia's approval rating to 32% this month, pollster Ipsos-Apoyo said in a national survey published Sunday in the newspaper El Comercio.

"The polls have shown over time that the main reasons a sector of the population approves of Garcia has been his attitude toward promoting private investment and his responsible macroeconomic management," wrote Alfredo Torres, chief of the pollster.

Seriously. On the downside, the "sector of the population" that values food, healthcare and other irresponsible macroeconomic policies is like twice as large.

Obama Administration Reverses Venezuela Policy, Only Secretly and Only to the Wall Street Journal

deCordobabullshi.pngLet's see last week the Obama administration officially and publicly congratulated "the civic and participatory spirit" of Venezuelans after they voted in their referendum thingy last week, praising the vote for being "consistent with democratic principles." But whatever! Because today! Some unnamed "State Department official" secretly reversed all that in an anonymous discussion with... Jose de Cordoba at America's most right wing daily newspaper? Because that's how the Obamas roll?

Congratulations on the scoop, Wall Street Journal! From here on out, all major US policy initiatives will be revealed, anonymously, to Joe the Plumber, an obese housecat, and that naked Brazilian body paint lady, the end.

February 24, 2009

That Model Democracy

thatssoalvaro!.jpgOver the weekend a Colombian magazine exposed a secret government program to illegally tap the phone lines of opposition judges, politicians and journalists, and then sell the info to death squad leaders.

President Alvaro Uribe moved quickly to distance himself from the scandal, explaining at a news conference that he cannot be held responsible for the actions of his intelligence service, the DAS, because the taps were initiated by "a mafia gang" inside the agency. Meanwhile DAS officials noted there will be "no criminal or disciplinary investigation" into the matter.

Sleazebag Pollster Mark Penn Declared A Poll-Sleaze By Sleazy Polling Guy Stan Greenberg!

everybodyhatesmarksmall.jpgHey look, Hillary Clinton's fat con-artist friend, Mark Penn, is back in the news this week! This is always fun. I wonder what he's up to now. Defrauding Venezuelan voters? Defending Colombian death squads? Haha, no. He's merely rigging polls again, in England this time, according to a new book by his arch-nemesis Stan Greenberg, himself notable as the evil genius behind the racist campaign to bring Bolivia its first gringo president. Fight, guys, fight! Kill! Kill!

Correction of the Day

Correction: Venezuela Referendum Story

CARACAS, Venezuela - In a Feb. 13 story about Venezuela's referendum eliminating term limits for elected officials, The Associated Press reported erroneously that Cuba was the only other country in the Americas that allows indefinite re-election. Canada also allows indefinite re-election for elected officials.

Hey they both start with a "C." Hat Tip: commenter Kojerk.

February 25, 2009

Arlen Specter, On American Exceptionalism

ImpunityKeepsUsStrong.jpgLast week Sen. Pat Leahy had an idea. Let's maybe set up a "truth commission" to look into the Bush administration's craziest illegal practices, such as wiretapping and torture. Sounds civilized, right? Republicans are outraged:

Republican Sen. Arlen Specter also blasted Leahy's suggestion, saying that if every administration tried to investigate its predecessor, "there'd be no end to it." "This is not Latin America!" he said.
There you go: our greatness stems from our ability to pretend that terrible things never happened, so that powerful families never have to face consequences for their actions. This is what separates us from ignorant Mexican dirt farmers.

Titulares & Asininity

  • Those wiretap devices that Colombia used to spy on Uribe opponents and journalists? From the US, of course.
  • And if you're keeping score, Uribe's last spy chief was fired for also spying on the opposition. The one before that was let go for providing death squads "with lists of union activists to target for assassination."
  • Venezuela's National Library Director was interviewed once about the US destruction of Iraqi libraries, which may be why he's not been allowed into the US to promote his book, but then again maybe it was "simply to punish Venezuela for Hugo Chavez."
  • Blah blah blah Venezuela money currency inflation devaluation zzzzzzzzzzz.

February 26, 2009

Keeping Up With The World's Best Ally

disappeared08.gif

Ok so that's nuts. Click the clicky to make it big. Hat Tip: Otto.

Condi's Last-Ever Human Rightz Country Reports Are Out!

SmellyaLaterCondi

God bless you Condoleezza, we finally learned how to spell your retarded name, and now you're gone. What's left to be said? Under your watch we became a nation that officially spies on citizens, detains without charges, sneers at the Geneva Conventions, ass-rapes Muslims, and urinates all over their holy books. And yet, through all of this, you've managed to publish country-by-country reports each year that judge the human rights practices of everybody else's country and still look fabulous in your CFM boots. You are one evil little multi-tasker.

This year's country reports (your last ever!) are finally out, and they are about as hilariously worthless as we've come to expect. We'll take a look at some your funnier Colombia vs. Venezuela findings, after the jump.

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February 28, 2009

Bolivia's State Department Human Rights Report is Funny/Dumb Too

consideryerself.jpgOh great Bolivia got the hee-larious State Department treatment this week, too. According to some guy who emailed us BoRev's Andean Region Correspondent, there are many things terribly wrong with this human rights country report as well!

  • After a year of bloody and racist violence against Indigenous Bolivians, the State Department only manages to cite a couple of attacks, and even then "balances" the stories with tales of much smaller-scale violence from "pro-government" groups. It came from all sides!
  • Opposition politicians of (American) Indian ancestry are described as "indigenous." Evo, on the other hand, merely "considered himself indigenous" in 2009, which is sort of hilarious.
  • The is no mention of the UJC or other organized hate groups, and their many clear and documented ties with opposition leaders don't garner a mention.
  • Most State Department sources are "non-government organizations" ("Freedom House," "Reporters Without Borders", etc. ) that are actually government spin-offs, so basically they're just quoting themselves.
  • The report half-praises Bolivia's attempt to extradite former president /noted Indian killer Sanchez de Lozada "from the country to which he fled," without actually noting what country that is. [Hint: He sits on the board of the Inter-American Dialogue in Washington.]

Thanks, Email guy, for your valuable research! Why don't you consider yourself Indigenous for the weekend, k?

Haha Red China Just Published Its 2008 United States Human Rights Report

redchina.jpgSince 1998, China has been publishing an annual human rights report on the US, following the same criteria, format and standards the State Department uses for its country by country reports.

The 2008 report came out on Thursday, and it seems "an increasing number of restrictions have been imposed on civil rights" right here at home! These include government wiretapping, police repression and a record high ratio of prisoners to freeman. Also, it turns out we've got problems with racism, gender inequality, poverty, corporal punishment, capital punishment, child imprisonment, child labor, and the overall treatment of the incarcerated. And then there is Section VI, about all the supposed wars, coups, and general destabilization policies we've got going on all over the world.

Wow what crazy propaganda, right? So far there has been no attempt by the US to deny the contents, so it's probably 130% true! No mention of whether or not Obama considers himself black.

About February 2009

This page contains all entries posted to BoRev.Net in February 2009. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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