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November 2009 Archives

November 1, 2009

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot, Honduras?

WTF Mel Zelaya So like forty-eight hours after this Historic Deal was struck, nobody agrees on what it says, not even a little bit. There are loopholes, there are congressional votes, there are supreme court decisions, this shit will never end, blah. Anyway for your reading "pleasure," we submit:


  • Greg Grandin on why this deal is so screwy, from a lefty perspective.

  • This Wall Street Journal editorial, which pretty much comes to the same conclusion from a not-lefty perspective.
  • The Moderate Voice, on how douchey the Washington Post has been on all this.
  • Some unsourced rumors, in Spanish, about how the Honduran congress made a deal with Clinton to vote Zelaya back in.
  • Some sourced rumors, in English, that lefty US Labor Secretary Hilda Solis will be on the "verification commission" to make sure that this screwy, loophole-ridden deal is enforced.

November 2, 2009

Oh My God These Guys Are Such Dicks

So one teensy little detail in the Honduran "bring back constitutional democracy deal" of 2009 is the tiny formality that Zelaya's return must be "approved" by "congress," so naturally:

"The head of Honduras' Congress said Monday that he has yet to decide when to call lawmakers back into session to debate whether ousted President Manuel Zelaya should be reinstated.

Jose Alfredo Saavedra ... said he has yet to call Congress to meet and will not be rushed despite calls from diplomats not to delay the vote."

To hell with these assholes. Seriously let's all move to El Salvador.

November 4, 2009

Who Wants to Survive A Year As A Low Level Elected Official?

whowantstobeamillionaire.jpg

Meanwhile in the world's greatest democracy.

November 6, 2009

Everything I Ever Needed To Know In Life I Learned from the BoRev Comments Section

Hey guys! Remember me? I've been very busy in the non-blog life this week, so I'm just cold catching up in my news the old fashioned way: reading all the links you people put in the clicky section!

Lets see here...holy mac! It turns out that that awesome unity deal in Honduras isn't turning out so well! Evil coup goblin Roberto Micheletti went and formed an official Unity Government, only he forgot to include Mel Zelaya. Sneaky! But the U.S. will never stand for this! Oh wait:

After threatening that it would not recognize the presidential election scheduled for Nov. 29 unless Mr. Micheletti signed on to the deal, the Obama administration hinted that it would accept the results even if the accord's terms are not fully met.
And In other news, Spain is a cesspool and Hugo Chavez invented the pig flu, hooray! All caught up now. Thanks everyone!

November 9, 2009

Dear Honduras, You're Still Sort Of Fucked. Sorry, Kisses, -Hillary


The Real News breaks it down.

PS: Kudos to their hilariously honest subtitle person. Actual correction posted on their site: "Note: At 08:39 the subtitle quotes Shannon as saying "Honduran democracy is NOT in the hands of Hondurans. It should read is NOW in the hands of Hondurans." Hahaha.

You Don't Know What Your Politics Are. The Washington Post Will Tell You What Your Politics Are!

Greivis VasquezLook, we know we've been pretty crap with the blogging lately, so voila: Pecs! and Blingee! in one! You guys are so easy! But wait, who is this hottie?

Meet Greivis Vasquez! Chavista, U of Maryland basketball star, my future boyfriend. A Washington Post reporter followed him back to his hometown, "Caracas" to talk about everything, except politics! B/c his are wrong. So here is an honest-to-mergatroid actual FOUR THOUSAND WORD essay about Greivis, his life, Venezuela, the barrio, and Zero politics. Except:

Three-thousand eight hundred words in, the reporter concludes that, according to one upper class opposition figure currently living in the United States, Chavez has so disappointed the folks in the barrio (except Greivis?) that all Venezuela has to hope for now, is the possible future NBA success of Greivis, the end. Empire.

November 10, 2009

The Annotated Works Of Lanny J. Davis, Volume 001

lanny-davis_officeSmall.jpgLongtime BoRev reader "Jakob" thought it might be "fun" to read this hilarious pack of lies that oozing Clintonite pustule Lanny Davis published in the Wall Street Journal yesterday, during a fact checker's strike, perhaps? and then point out each time he just makes shit up or otherwise says something stupid. Behold Jakob's idea of a good a time, after the jump!

Continue reading "The Annotated Works Of Lanny J. Davis, Volume 001" »

November 11, 2009

Titulares & Asininity

  • There's a new mosque in Nicaragua, which is JUST LIKE September 11th only with Iranians instead of Iraqis Afghans Saudis?? Anyway it's terrorism, probably.
  • You know of "The United States", that country that totally fucked up the Honduran coup with some crappy deal? Well it's going to fix it now, so you can all stop worrying and go back to your TVs.
  • Famous sweatshop cobblers collective "Nike" is totally in the tank for Hugo Chavez, or the color red, whatever.
  • Hundreds of Salvadorans are dead or missing in the wake of Hurricane Ida (including omg "8 Mormons"). CISPES is organizing relief donations here, for everyone, not just the Mormons.

100% Off Topic and 5000% Awesome

toosexyforyourpartynowayi'mdiscodancing.jpg OMG guess the name of the new head of the über-douchey right wing "Family Research Council Action PAC"! Guess, guess, guess!

November 12, 2009

Whole Entire World PLUS "Over 240 Academics and Experts'" MINUS "Obama Administration" Think This Coup Dictatorship Thing Is Bad, b/c of All The Oppression

"Link"

This counts as a blog post, right?

Who's Laughing Now?

State.Protest.jpgBy Revolter

On Tuesday, Hondurans for Democracy and other groups organized another protest against the coup, this time outside Hillary's lair. State Department spokesman P.J. Crowley thought he could laugh us away since there's these martial law "free and fair" elections coming on November 29 (video).

Ok, so we forgot to print a letter for Hillary, and the chants were pretty funny, but still no need to dismiss our demands. In fact, it seems like some people State should care about agree with us:

"The State Department's abrupt change of policy towards Honduras last week -- recognizing the elections scheduled for Nov. 29 even if the coup regime does not meet its commitments under the Tegucigalpa-San Jose Accord -- caused the collapse of an accord it helped negotiate,"
Frederick L. Jones, spokesman for Senate Foreign Relations Committee Chairman John F. Kerry

And just in from the Latin American press (no English yet), Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-IL) is actually in Tegucigolpe right now denouncing the human rights violations of the coup regime and calling for Zelaya's restitution:

"I believe that the elected President should be reinstated and that the Congress should take action as soon as posible . . . From what I have seen, it is obvious that there has been a deterioration in the human rights situation."
Suck it, DeMint!

November 13, 2009

And Now, A Very Important Message from The United States Government

HondurasCanFuckItself.jpg

Hey did you happen to catch the new editorial from Voice of America? The one that "signals a subtle change in policy toward Honduras?" Well it's your lucky Friday, the 13th, because here it is now! Probably the best part is where we (America, in our Voice) talk about an imaginary San Jose Accord that apparently no longer requires the reinstatement of Manuel Zelaya:

The United States' commitment is to the accord and its implementation and to the restoration of democratic constitutional order in Honduras. It provides a pathway to free and fair elections, the outcome of which will be widely accepted both within Honduras and abroad.
Hahaha, and by widely accepted we mean, "by Colombia, Israel and maybe a couple random island nations whose debt levels exceed GDP." Anyway "we tried" is the point.

November 15, 2009

Poll! Hugo Chavez BANS NAKED SINGING, Maybe??

showersong.jpgLord, did you read last month how Hugo Chavez suggested that this crazy concept of "conserving water during a drought" might be a smart strategy? Exact quote:

"Some people sing in the shower, in the shower half an hour. No kids, three minutes is more than enough. I've counted, three minutes, and I don't stink."
Haha cute, right? YOU FUCKING COMMUNIST! According to this awesomely insane Miami Herald editorial, any water conservation conversation is proof of "the deterioration of basic services that has characterized [Chavez's] prolonged tenure at Miraflores Palace," and of course policies that are "a prescription for ruin and misery."

OK sure, but...the editorial was published last Friday, three long weeks after Chavez made this innocuous & um-duh uncontroversial comment and three short days after "good left" poster child Brazil was struck by massive power outages that left tens of millions of people without electricity for more than five hours. How did the mainstream media discuss that "deterioration of basic services"? A Retuer's analysis, for one, called it "a glitch."

Anyway, POLL! Read that quote again about showers, and then vote for the media outlet that interpreted it in the craziest way possible! Was it:

November 16, 2009

One Day We'll Laugh That We Ever Thought Some "Legal Decision" Could Stop Alvaro Uribe From Reaching His Glorious Destiny

mybloodyalvaro.jpgOh noes! President Alvaro Uribe has "hit a roadblock" on the way to rewriting his constitution again to run for a third term in office (that's Colombian for "Dictator-For-Life").

As it turns out, Mr. Popularity ended up spending "six times the legal limit" bribing prospective voters to put their Juan Hancock on the petitions, and now the evil elections council went and invalidated many millions of signatures! Can you believe this very terrible predicament Colombia finds itself in?

But wait...there may just be a way out, stay with me here: if Uribe can just manage to disappear eight to ten million Colombians by the end of the year, the remaining valid petitions may still be enough to get him on the ballot! Sure this will be a time consuming and potentially annoying project, but if the Colombian people demand it, who is Alvaro Uribe to stand in their way? Where others see only legally binding prohibitions, Alvaro Uribe smells the rotting carcass of opportunity.

November 17, 2009

Titulares & Asininity

  • Oops, turns out the military bombings of Vieques posed serious health risks after all, sorry guys!
  • Voice of America has expanded its reach throughout the Andes in order to instill democratic values neutralize "a group of presidents loudly critical of Washington"

November 19, 2009

Even the Reporters are No Longer Buying It

AP_USState_IanKelly_11MAY09_0.jpgBy Revolter

MR. KELLY: We'll have to see how it - how they're actually conducted. Part of it, of course, is the run-up to the elections themselves. It's not just the day of the election. A big part of whether or not elections are free and fair --
Hahaha. Wanna see US State Department spokesman, Ian Kelly, squirm - literally? (about min. 32)

After criticizing human rights in Cuba, he gets backed into a corner talking about the US's sonofabitches down in Honduras.

But wait! Junta leader Roberto Micheletti is symbolically stepping down for a few hours sometime soon, so that's gonna fix everything, right, right?

November 20, 2009

Dear Hot Shot Attorneys, Your New Partner Blows

LANNY.Teevee.jpgBy Revolter

The kids at Hondurans for Democracy are organizing another online action/protest against the lobbyists paid to lie for the coup government of Honduras. This time, it's everyone's favorite DC whore, Lanny Davis.

They even got someone who sounds like an attorney to write the letter to over 600 of Lanny's law firm colleagues pointing out that Davis's recent op-ed in the WSJ, was full of "false statements" thereby opening him up to a possible caning by the local Bar Association or something.

Note to DC operatives - There's also a picket outside of their offices Tuesday, 11/24 at noon.

For everyone else, since they're asking for modifications to the subject line and/or the body of the letter in order to avoid potential email filters, let's have a subject line contest! Post in the comments.

Remember, use the same type of "civility" that Mr. Davis would. Best one gets, well, a mention in the blog.

November 22, 2009

Titulares & Asininity

perudemierda.png


  • Hahah, somebody (pirates?) hacked into Peru's government website yesterday and posted this picture and possibly other things. Who knows, it's back to normal now, whatever.
  • Oh look one arm of the US government didn't get the memo that we were supposed to be "very concerned" about Honduran democracy under Mel Zelaya.
  • Some Colombian Ladyterrorist was captured in Venezuela.
  • NYT Headline from 100 years ago THIS WEEK: "Zelaya Has Two Americans Shot in Nicaragua" and, "the speedy overthrown of Zelaya is expected to follow," naturally.

November 24, 2009

"I Ain't The One, Motherfuckers," A Very Special Guest Post By Bolivian President Evo Morales!

Fuck The Haters, Evo!

Sup, bitches? Evo fucking Morales here, just cold coasting to motherfucking electoral victory next week, hey-oh! While the so-called Bolivian "opposition" is still sittin' around with their pasty fingers up their collective asshole I'm out here fixing the economy and racking up mad poll numbers yo. So for all you skinheads out there still trying figure out whether you're going with the "Bolivia for Croatians" Party or the "Kruceño Klan" or whatever, y'all can suck my Aymara fattie, fucknuts, because Bolivia ain't about that any more. You're done.

Know how you know when they're getting desperate, though? When their reporter buddy, that batshit insane CIA-asset twatrocket over at the Wall Street Journal starts to really lose her shit. And there she go yesterday talking 'bout I'm a "mob boss" and a "terrorist" and a motherfucking "narco-dictator" and crying all about the "end of Bolivian democracy." What kind of PoMo bullshit is that, right? Like this assjacket gave two shits about "Bolivian democracy" back when her pal Goni was cold spraying Indians with bullets on the sidewalk so they could sell our gas to Shell or our water to Bechtel or what-the-fuck ever "market fundamental" was at stake the last go around, yo.

So yeah, I'm gonna clean up in this goddamned election. It's going to be a big, satisfying motherfucking win and the fact that it sends Mary Anastasia O'Grady and those insane motherfuckers down on calle ocho into conniptions is just gonna be the nevado on my torta, yo. But the main thing is that we're going to move ahead with this movement for indigenous rights and women's rights and healthcare and education and jobs and environment and opportunity because check it, that shit is Bolivian fucking democracy.

Aaight peace everybody, I've got a motherfucking country to run. -Evo.

PS: These motherfuckers got my back, yo.

November 25, 2009

Israel Calls for Venezuelan State To Be Wiped Off The Map!

endtimes.jpgIsraeli President Shimon Peres can't understand how Venezuela could have misinterpreted his harmless little prediction that the Venezuelan people would soon make their president "disappear." He was obviously talking about elections etc. etc., and the fact that he made this little speech in Argentina, world capitol of disappeared lefties, was just a dumb coincidence, so let's all just calm down and see the humor in it, hahaha!

Y'know what this adorable little misunderstanding totally reminds me of? Remember the time that Iranian guy made his own little prediction about Israeli leaders, something about "the regime over Jerusalem" and how it was going to "vanish from the page of time" or whatever? I mean nobody went nutso over those silly remarks, or like, formulated an entire insane blood-spattered foreign policy apparatus around them or anything, so can we all just chill out now, please? Have some Tofurkey.

November 29, 2009

Liveblogging the Pretend Elections in Honduras!

Are you ready to press the do-over button, people? Today's fake presidential "election" in Honduras is underway. Marked by brutality and fear, boycotted by half the political parties and overseen by a military junta backed by global business elites, Kissinger's dream of the perfect Latin American democracy may finally be realized!

We'll keep you posted through the day, with all the quality you've come to expect from a half-assed hobby blog thousands of miles away from the action, so CONSTANTLY HIT REFRESH!

  • Here's the official U.S. policy on all this: "'What are we going to do, sit for four years and just condemn the coup?" a senior U.S. official, speaking on the condition of anonymity, told reporters in Washington."
  • Awesome.
  • Hey DC-area slacker: Hondurans for Democracy have organized a peaceful demonstration in Mt. Pleasant today. Why don't you pry yourself away from your computer screen for a change and join 'em?
  • FYI Al Giordano has rounded up and translated the decrees that Honduran coup leaders issued in the past week to ensure this vote is as insanely undemocratic as possible. Good times.
  • Basically everybody in Latin America hates the U.S. again over this: "They really thought he was different," said Julia Sweig of the Council on Foreign Relations, referring to Latin America's view of Mr. Obama, adding, "But those hopes were dashed over the course of the summer."
  • The Quixote Center just published its first live update from Tegucigalpa: "'I don't know how they are going to legitimate these elections,' Bertha Oliva just told me, as she arrived to the COFADEH office. 'The polling places are empty.'"
  • The Real News just posted a creepy segment on the elections. Honduras is so fucked.
  • Oh, naturally: "Israel became the fifth country to officially announce that it would recognize the results of Sunday's elections in Honduras..." The others are Colombia, Peru, Costa Rica and the U.S.
  • You know how the entire world (minus 5 countries) refuses to recognize the fake elections? Yesterday the WaPo ed board explained the important lesson here: "The lesson of the Honduran crisis is that the United States cannot always pursue such multilateralism and also support democracy." (The WaPo stylesheet recognizes "democracy," "capitalism" & "U.S. Interests" as interchangeable terms.)
  • Breaking! Mary Anastasia O'Whatzit has filed her report! And OMG HUGO CHAVEZ IS NO LONGER THE PRESIDENT OF HONDURAS. She also mentions the "almost 400 foreign observers from Japan, Europe, Latin America and the U.S.." Naturally at least 300 hundred of them are these Miami wingnuts.
  • Check it out: right-wing "election observers" are employing a "blog strategy" to promote their message--to comical results!
  • Pepe Lobo "wins" fake election, with no word yet on how many people actually voted. Orwellian think tank "anaylsis" begins: "'The average Honduran doesn't care one way or the other about the coup, it was a battle of political elites,' said Heather Berkman, a political risk analyst at the Eurasia Group in New York." Let that shit sink in.
  • Naturally the turnout figures are in dispute. As of Monday morning the junta claims it to be over 60% (higher than any other presidential election in Honduran history!) and the resistance sets abstention at an illegitimizing 65%.
  • WaPo Monday morning: "Turnout was 47.6 percent, several points less than the total in the last presidential election in 2005, according to projections released by the country's electoral tribunal. In addition, there appeared to be an unusually high number of null and blank ballots -- about 6 percent, according to projections."

About November 2009

This page contains all entries posted to BoRev.Net in November 2009. They are listed from oldest to newest.

October 2009 is the previous archive.

December 2009 is the next archive.

Many more can be found on the main index page or by looking through the archives.

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