BoRev.Net

That's So Alvaro!

2008-05-13T19:35:02Z

Remember all of those Colombian paramilitary leaders who were exposing the connections between Alvaro Uribe’s administration and right-wing terrorist groups? They were all extradited to the U.S. in the middle of the night, where they will be tried for drug trafficking...and nothing else. “Claudia Lopez, an independent investigator who helped uncover the paramilitary-political scandal fears criminal cases against politicians will now end: 'They've taken away all the witnesses,' she said Tuesday.”

The World Is Weird

2008-05-13T14:18:32Z

So Thursday is the day that the Cato Institute pays that Serbian-trained color revolutionary kid for his efforts to overthrow a democratically elected government in the name of “freedom.” And if all that’s not sufficiently creepy, the $500,000 cash prize is named for Milton Friedman, Augusto Pinochet’s economic adviser. To commemorate the entire freakshow, the Brecht Forum is hosting this awesomely-titled round table discussion tomorrow night in New York, and you should go if you’re in the neighborhood.

Our Complex Foreign Policy

2008-05-13T02:34:22Z

Your U.S. State Department on the recent “autonomy” vote in Bolivia, in which one state declared its intent to secede from the rest of the country:

"We are committed to the territorial unity of all the countries of the region… At the same time we are in favor of the expression in a democratic manner of the interests of the different groups and sectors."

So in case you know any foreigns and they ask, we support the democratic “expression” of the vote, but also we oppose the outcome the vote. My head hurts.

Lamest. Dictatorship. Ever.

2008-05-12T19:39:37Z

Look at big, scary Hugo Chavez. He is such an angry and crazy strongman who makes Venezuelan institutions bend to every retarded whim. Anyway he’s got some baby mama drama since his ex wife got engaged to a tennis instructor and began to renege on Chavez’s visitation agreement with their 10-year-old, so he tried to sue in the courts but then gave that up so as not “to put my daughter in the middle of a spectacle” and then…well that’s the whole story. Seriously Uribe’s reading this and thinking “Why not just have the bitch killed?”

“Technically High Treason”

2008-05-12T15:56:47Z

Last night American Dad gave us a musical look at the last time the U.S. “worked together with Latin American countries to deal with common threats and challenges.”

Bush Has A Legacy After All

2008-05-12T01:45:40Z

>>> Check out the next member of OPEC: Brazil! >>> Preview Latin America’s next insurgent president: Lula. >>> Meet Central America’s next leftist government: …El Salvador. >>> Check out the latest victim of independent scrutiny: The Magic Laptop!

Never Say Evo Again

2008-05-11T17:28:05Z

So the new Bond movie plotline is out! And the bad guys are…Santa Cruz separatists or something! Check it out:

“… Bond discovers that Greene, conspiring to take total control of one of the world's most important natural resources, is forging a deal with the exiled General Medrano. Using his associates in the organization, and manipulating his powerful contacts within the CIA and the British government, Greene promises to overthrow the existing regime in Bolivia, giving the General control of the country in exchange for a seemingly barren piece of land. Bond and the beautiful Camille who has her own vendetta, team-up to throw a wrench into Greene's machine.”

Beltway Bloviators: A Reader's Guide

2008-05-11T17:06:40Z

How are you preparing for the results of the Magic Laptop diagnostic due out later this week? If you are one of the busy beavers in the Bush Administration, you’re probably already ahead of the game by moving an entire fleet of warships into the region, armed with bombs, missiles, and plenty of heart! Agence France Presse tracked down three of Washington’s douchiest commentators for their analysis, but which one is the most contemptible? We investigate, after the jump.]]> >>> National War College Professor Frank Mora is a vision of equivocation. You see, on the one hand, "The United States' obsession with Venezuela, Cuba and other things indicates they are going to use more military force, going to use that instrument more often," and yet on the other, perhaps "this is not about the United States trying to use this military instrument to invade or coerce any country, but to actually work together with other countries to deal with common threats and challenges." So the fleet of armed warships is down there to either help the region cooperate...or to blow it up. Thanks, Professor Mora! That’s what makes you a trusted D.C. expert. >>> Retired Army Colonel Jay Cope wants you to stop worrying and love the nuclear aircraft carrier: "This doesn't have to be seen as some kind of deterrence, or as threatening things for countries. That's not the intent…We have got to compete with other countries of this world for our relationships with the countries of this hemisphere." Well played, Col. Cope! Extra douche points for framing it in market terminology. Don’t think of it as us threatening your little country, it’s just the invisible hand at work! >>> Peter Hakim of the Inter-American ~~Monologue~~ Dialogue wonders aloud why the U.S. hasn’t been doing more of this sort of crap in recent years: "Is it because the US now recognizes Latin America is more mature, that it can deal with its problems on its own, and that it's giving it space to do so? Or is it that basically that the US doesn't care right now, it just doesn't feel threatened by all this? It's impossible to know at this point." Oh, bravo, Peter Hakim. Not only do you compare an entire continent to a pubescent child, but you end wrap it up with a “who knows?” clause guaranteed to insulate you from future accountability. Truly a masterwork of arrogance and idiocy. Wait, we can play this game, too: All three analyst demonstrate nauseating levels of cock-eyed ignorance laced with unwavering trust in the current administration, two hallmarks of beltway bloviation in its purist form. So are they all equally contemptible? It’s impossible to know at this point.

Jackson Diehl’s Going to be Pissed When He Finds Out

2008-05-10T23:55:20Z

Just two days after we published this, the U.S. House of Representatives voted to drop the terrorist designation for the last guy who got on the wrong side of U.S. Foreign policy. So congratulations, Nelson Mandela! You can finally take the great-grandkids to Disneyland, pending Senate approval.

Bring it on, Bitches

2008-05-09T17:09:07Z

Ha ha, it turns out that the Bolivian opposition is exactly like the Venezuelan opposition which is why they will fail, hilariously, forever. Emboldened by the recent “autonomy” vote in the country’s richest, whitest state of Santa Cruz, opposition parties yesterday introduced a bill in the national legislature requiring a recall referendum against Superstar President Evo Morales. Although it was probably meant to be a wedge to rally the country’s right wing, the measure passed quickly without much dissent from Evo backers because the president is like really, really popular. So Evo’s all bring it on and the opposition is all hey wait and now there’s going to be a referendum and Evo’s going to be king of the Andes. Hat Tip: Otto

Third Verse, Same As The First

2008-05-09T16:49:56Z

Well this never gets old: today the Colombians leaked the magic laptop documents to the Wall Street Journal—the same documents they already leaked to the Miami Herald last week and the New York Times the week before that. And once again it’s a Breaking World Exclusive all over again! Ok there is this funny twist this time though, in that an unnamed “senior U.S. Intelligence Official” said that the intelligence community is in “complete agreement” on the validity of the documents, and implies that they’d been talking to the investigators at Interpol. And then the guy from Interpol calls him a liar. And then a “senior Senate Staffer” who has gone over the documents is like, yeah this all nice but like, "We need to see proof of what is mentioned in the reports." Oh, right, proof. That. Note: If this link to the story doesn’t work, we’ve excerpted the article after the jump, in its entirety. ]]> "Chávez aided Colombia rebels, captured computer files show" Jose de Cordoba and Jay Solomon Wall Street Journal May 9 2008 BOGOTÁ, Colombia -- A cache of controversial computer files closely tying Venezuela's President Hugo Chávez to communist rebels seeking to topple Colombia's government appear to be authentic, U.S. intelligence officials say. The trove -- found on a dead guerrilla leader's laptops during a military raid in March -- is likely to ratchet up pressure for the U.S. to impose sanctions on one of its most important oil suppliers. The files that have been made public so far have largely confirmed Mr. Chávez's well-known sympathy for the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia, or FARC. But a review by The Wall Street Journal of more than 100 new files from the computers suggests that Venezuela has broader and deeper ties to the FARC than previously known. These documents indicate Venezuela appears to be making concrete offers to help arm the rebels, possibly with rocket-propelled grenades and ground-to-air missiles. The files suggest that Venezuela offered the FARC the use of one of its ports to receive arms shipments, and that Venezuela raised the prospect of drawing up a joint security plan with the FARC and sought basic training in guerrilla-warfare techniques. "There is complete agreement in the intelligence community that these documents are what they purport to be," a senior U.S. official said. The Office of the Director of National Intelligence has been sharing its assessments with the White House, this official said. Washington's stance is likely to hurt Venezuela's already deeply strained relationship with the U.S., its biggest trade partner. It could also add pressure for the U.S. to declare Venezuela a state sponsor of terrorism, alongside Cuba, Iran, North Korea, Sudan and Syria, and impose sanctions. Mr. Chávez has repeatedly said the files were faked by Colombia. "We don't recognize the validity of any of these documents," Bernardo Álvarez, Venezuela's ambassador to the U.S., said in a Wednesday interview. "They are false, and an attempt to discredit the Venezuelan government." Interpol, the international police organization, has yet to give its view on the files' legitimacy. Colombia asked Interpol to perform an independent forensic analysis, and next week, Interpol Secretary General Ronald Noble is scheduled to travel to Colombia to present the findings. Mr. Noble declined to comment on Interpol's conclusions. He said Interpol hasn't yet briefed foreign governments on its findings. "Anyone who has told you that Interpol has informed him about our findings has given you false information," he said. Cross-Border Raid The computer files hint at the depth of Mr. Chávez's antipathy towards the U.S., which he often describes as an "empire" oppressing Latin America. According to one document, Venezuela's interior minister, Ramón Rodríguez Chacin, last November asked the FARC to train Venezuela's military in nuts-and-bolts guerrilla tactics -- including "operational tactics, explosives, ... jungle camps, ambushes, logistics, mobility" -- so that soldiers would be prepared to fight a guerrilla war if the U.S. were to invade Venezuela. The documents are among more than 10,000 files that Colombian intelligence services say came from three computers belonging to Raúl Reyes, the FARC's former second-in-command. Mr. Reyes was killed in March when Colombia's military staged a contentious cross-border raid into Ecuador, where he was camped. The FARC itself has suggested the files are fake. A FARC statement published on the Web site of Venezuela's Information Ministry ridiculed Colombia's claims about the computer files, saying computers couldn't have survived the Colombian army attack "even if they had been bullet-proof." A senior staffer in the U.S. Senate, who had been briefed on the contents of the files, cautioned that Mr. Chávez is known for his bombast, and that while tantalizing, the information in the files would need careful corroboration before action is taken against Venezuela. "We need to see proof of what is mentioned in the reports," the staffer said. There have been some recent indications that the computers contain accurate information. Police in Costa Rica staged a successful raid on a home belonging to alleged FARC sympathizers, and recovered $480,000 in cash, guided by information from the documents suggesting the money would be located there. In addition, Ecuador's interior minister confirmed that he had met with Mr. Reyes, after an email describing the previously secret meeting was found on the laptops and made public by Colombia. The FARC, which has been fighting for control of Colombia for nearly a half-century, funds itself mostly through drug trafficking and kidnapping for ransom. The U.S. considers it to be one of the world's main cocaine suppliers. The FARC is considered a terrorist organization by the U.S., Canada, Colombia and the European Union. For the U.S., any group that deliberately attacks civilians for political reasons merits such a designation. With troop strength estimated at around 9,000 fighters, that would make the FARC Latin America's oldest and largest such group. However, Colombia's neighbors, including Venezuela, Ecuador and Brazil, don't consider the FARC to be a terrorist organization. Indeed, Mr. Chávez has hailed the group as brother revolutionaries. He has thrown Venezuela's weight behind an effort to remove the FARC from terrorist lists and instead grant the group diplomatic recognition as a "belligerent army." According to the senior U.S. intelligence official, the Colombian government delivered "thousands" of the controversial documents to Washington in March. Since then, American technical experts have studied them for signs of forgery and to assess whether they correspond to the methods the FARC typically uses to communicate. "There are no indications whatsoever that they've been fabricated by the Colombians," the official said. The official said that the most troubling information in the files suggested the FARC's willingness to purchase virtually any type of weapon from any source. The official said Mr. Chávez's government has increasingly been willing to help the FARC reach international buyers. The official cited the FARC's particular desire to acquire surface-to-air missiles, although he said there weren't any signs of the guerrilla movement succeeding. The FARC Situation During a speech Wednesday on Latin American relations, President Bush brought up the FARC situation. "Colombia faces a hostile and anti-American neighbor in Venezuela, where the regime has forged an alliance with Cuba, collaborated with FARC terrorists, and provided sanctuary to FARC units." According to a study last week from the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, sanctions against Venezuela could backfire if done poorly. The U.S. would need to rally significant regional support or risk that sanctions become "counterproductive" by stirring nationalist or anti-U.S. sentiments. Venezuela has mounted a vigorous diplomatic offensive to block any move by the U.S. to declare the nation a terrorism sponsor. Such a declaration would prompt U.S. economic sanctions, disrupt $50 billion in annual bilateral trade and jolt the already jittery global oil market, since Venezuela is a major oil roducer. In a speech last month in New York, Mr. Álvarez, Venezuela's ambassador, warned the U.S. would pay a heavy economic price if it made any such move. "There will be very grave economic consequences," Mr. Álvarez said, adding that some 230,000 U.S. manufacturing jobs depend on U.S. exports to Venezuela, which in turn sends some 1.58 million barrels of oil daily to the U.S. The documents suggest Mr. Chávez is personally involved in helping the guerrillas. In a September 2007 message to the FARC's ruling body, a commander wrote: "Chávez is studying our documents and has said that just like Fidel [Castro] has decided to delegate his other responsibilities to concentrate on the Venezuelan situation, he [Chávez] is ready to do the same to dedicate more time to Colombia." Colombia has long accused Venezuela of letting the FARC operate on its side of the border, allegations the Venezuelans have denied. But according to one 2005 email, from Jorge Briceño (known as Mono Jojoy, a top FARC military commander), the rebels at that time had some 370 guerrillas and urban sympathizers operating inside Venezuela. Getting 'Rockets' One email, apparently sent by a FARC commander known as "Timochenko" to the guerrillas' ruling body in March 2007, describes meetings with Venezuelan naval-intelligence officers who offer the FARC assistance in getting "rockets." The Venezuelans also offer to help a FARC guerrilla travel to the Middle East to learn how to use the rockets. Colombian military analysts believe the reference is to shoulder-fired antiaircraft missiles, a weapon that the guerrillas desperately need if they hope to blunt Colombia's recent gains. "The FARC realizes that its military problem is air power," says Gen. Oscar Naranjo, who heads the country's national police. In another email dated early 2007, FARC commander Iván Márquez describes meetings with the Venezuelan military's intelligence chief, Gen. Hugo Carvajal, and another Venezuelan officer to talk about "finances, arms and border policy." Mr. Márquez relates that the Venezuelans will provide the guerrillas some 20 "very powerful bazookas," which Colombian military officials believe is a reference to rocket-propelled grenade launchers. An officer reached at Gen. Carvajal's office said the general was the only person authorized to comment and he couldn't be reached because he was traveling. At the meeting with Gen. Carvajal, another Venezuelan general is described as offering the port of Maracaibo to facilitate arms shipments to the guerrillas. The general suggests piggybacking on shipments from Russia -- from which Venezuela itself is buying everything from Kalashnikovs to jet fighters -- to "include some containers destined to the FARC" with various arms for the guerrillas' own use. A spokesman at the Russian embassy in Washington declined to comment. The proposals to obtain weaponry are part of a broad program of economic and political support for the FARC from Mr. Chávez's government, some of which was detailed in emails that were made public in the days just after the cross-border military raid that yielded the computer files. Another email describes a November meeting between two FARC commanders and Mr. Chávez. The commanders, Ricardo Granda and Iván Márquez, report back in the email that Mr. Chávez gave orders to create "rest areas" and hospital zones for the guerrillas to use on the Venezuelan side of the border. Many documents talk about how to fit generous offers of Venezuelan aid to the FARC's long-term "strategic plan" of taking power in Colombia. In one document dated January 2007, one top FARC commander speaks of a "loan" for $250 million to buy arms which the FARC will pay back once it has reached power. "Don't think of it as a loan, think of it as solidarity," says Mr. Rodríguez Chacin, the interior minister, in another document. Mr. Rodríguez Chacin's press office didn't respond to a request for comment. Earlier this week, he dismissed Colombian newspaper reports that Interpol had confirmed that the computer documents were authentic, according to an Interior Ministry press release. "Imagine somebody taking [evidence] home and manipulating it as he wants, and afterwards presenting it," he said. "What court in the world will accept that evidence?" While the documents indicate that the FARC is appreciative of Venezuela's efforts, privately the guerrillas occasionally make fun of the Venezuelans' work habits. "It hasn't been easy for us to adapt to the way of being of the Venezuelans," complains Mr. Reyes in one document. "It doesn't seem as if they are conscious of their boring lack of formality." Mr. Chávez "always leaves things until the last moment."

God To Uribe: I’m Not On Your Side

2008-05-08T23:51:15Z

Warning! the following has no humor value whatsoever. If you so much as smirk, you are sick, because this is not funny at all, not even a little bit:

"A member of Colombia's Congress had a heart attack while debating a transportation bill and died hours later in a hospital after having to be transported in a private car because no ambulances were available. Sixty-year-old Jose Fernando Castro, a member of conservative President Alvaro Uribe's majority coalition, collapsed mid-debate in a committee room. The gray-haired Castro, his polka-dotted tie loosened from around his neck, spent 20 minutes on the floor of the room before those trying to help him decided to move him without the help of an ambulance, which was called but never arrived."

Hey maybe that transportation bill would have helped with problems like this. What’s weird here is that as of this morning, Uribe still had a Congressional ally who was not in jail on terrorism charges. Who knew?

John McCain to End Slavery in Venezuela Once and For All

2008-05-08T19:48:16Z

Weird Quote for the Day:

“Human trafficking -– slavery, by another name –- exists not just in places like Thailand, Kuwait and Venezuela. It is a serious problem here in the United States.” --Crazy old coot John McCain

Um ok, what? Everybody knows that Thailand is an obligatory stopover in the international perv circuit, and that Kuwait is notorious for kidnapping child slaves not just for camel racing but for, like, “building the U.S. embassy in Iraq,” But Venezuela? Oh wait I know. McCain was probably in Caracas and the ladies were throwing themselves all over him and he just assumed…no wait on second thought sex slavery is the only possible explanation here.

The World Is One Big 100% True Conspiracy Theory

2008-05-07T21:18:43Z

Ok, so…not only is the U.S. harboring one of the world’s most notorious superkiller terrorists, but they’re throwing him a “hi I’m gay” party in Miami. And then…a plane went down in Venezuela and the guy that owns the Smartmatic voting machines died and the CIA and drugs and Ohio voters and Christ I don’t even begin to get it… And then…some guy with access to Google has “explosively” connected the dots between Barack Obama and Hugo Chavez and posted it ~~all over~~ at this one place on the internet. And then…another guy who exposed the role of the Albert Einstein Institute in overthrowing governments all over the world got a hilariously bitchy letter from the director about it so he published that too and now he’s going to die. And then… “Three years after officials hailed his arrest as a major drug war victory, the U.S. asked a judge Tuesday to dismiss cocaine charges against Colombian rebel leader Ricardo Palmera.”

Is Jackson Diehl a Dangerous White Supremacist, or Just a Dick?

2008-05-06T20:38:05Z

You probably already knew this, but Bolivian President Evo Morales is an Indian, in a country made up primarily of Indians, and in the 170-year history of Bolivia he is the country’s very first Indian president, which is crazy when you think about it. Anyway the Washington Post’s Jackson Diehl believes that this is a bad and scary development, because it threatens to inject “ethnocentric policies” into Bolivian politics when everything was fair and square before. Hell even the slaves were probably happy. All of which got me wondering, how would the Washington Post have covered the fall of apartheid if Jackson Diehl sat on the Ed Board in the early 90s? Haha that’s easy to figure out. Just take today’s editorial and substitute “South Africa” for “Bolivia” and “Mandela” for “Morales.” Oh no wait allow me:

South African President Nelson Mandela claims to be ruling his country on behalf of a black majority whose rights have been denied for centuries by an evil "oligarchy." In fact, Mr. Mandela is pursuing a narrow and divisive agenda that, if continued, will split South Africa along geographic as well as ethnic lines, and possibly trigger a civil war. Though demographers disagree, a common estimate is that 65 percent of South Africa’s 43 million people are of African descent, while “Whites,” descendants of Europeans, make up the balance. Ignoring this disparity, Mr. Mandela, a black South African and former guerilla fighter, is trying to impose a new political system on the country that greatly increases his own power and that privileges his own ethnic group at the expense of the rest of the country. Worse, Mr. Mandela is an acolyte of the Soviet Union’s Mikhail Gorbachev and has adopted his potted and authoritarian version of socialism. Early returns from a white-separatist referendum held recently in Johannesburg’s better white neighborhoods showed that more than 84 percent voted for the autonomy plan. Though the legality of the vote is questionable, the exercise demonstrated beyond doubt that opposition to Mr. Mandela’s program extends far beyond any "oligarchy." If South Africa is lucky, Mr. Mandela will recognize that most of his country will never accept ethnocentric policies or Soviet-style autocracy, and he will begin to negotiate a compromise that allows more rights for South Africa’s white inhabitants. If he presses ahead with black-majority rule, the result is likely to be bloodshed.

Now that was easy, wasn’t it? Everybody was doing just fine in South Africa until the blacks took over and made it all racist with their racism. The same applies to Bolivia today, so go back to India, stupid Bolivian Indians!