Did you know that the United States of America was a DICTATORHSIP for the first 175 years of its existence? It’s a shameful, embarrassing part of our history that our civics teachers understandably de-emphasize. But it’s true: it wasn’t until February 1951, when Minnesota became the 36th state to ratify the Glorious Twenty Second Amendment that our great nation became a real democracy with presidential term limits the way Jesus intended.
Apparently the knowledge of our terrible history has been passed down through secret societies of editorial board writers ever since, to be shared only when global democracy is in grave danger. Friends, that time is now. You see, there is this country, “Venezuela,” that is holding a national referendum in two short weeks that could potentially end presidential term limits, the central underpinning of all true democracies (Sorry, France!).
Sure, the whole thing would happen with a “vote,” which is technically one of the “trappings” of democracy, but the Washington Post knows that if the Venezuelans vote the wrong way, it will be nothing short of “a coup” that would “complete Venezuela's transformation into a dictatorship.” And also the vote outcome would somehow be “a fraud” that would “confirm [Chavez] as de facto president for life,” and would prove once and for all that he is “an autocrat,” who will “isolate and retard the country.” I don't know about you, but I’m feeling isolated and retarded just thinking about it!
As (north) Americans, we have suffered under the brutal dictatorships of Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt and others too terrible to mention (rhymes with "Malivn Moolidge"). We, more than anyone, know that nothing good can possibly come of a President--or someone who has acted as President for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President--being re-elected more than one more time. And so it is our solemn duty to act as a beacon, a living breathing example to the rest of the world. Well, that and ‘cause we’re snotty little know-it-alls.
If Venezuela is allowed to vote the way it wants to on December 2nd, then the lives of all who died to bring us the twenty-second amendment will have been in vain. Think about it. Never Forget™!