This week is Thanksgiving, a time when every patriotic American naturally turns his thoughts to our collective “bounty” and marvels at how big it’s gotten. Everyone knows that Americans have the largest bounties on the planet--personally I can barely squeeze mine into last year’s jeans! Frankly we’ve earned the right to pity the rest of the world, with a special smarmy emphasis on “the third.”
This year, I was planning to channel my heartburst toward Venezuela, because it’s good to focus and because apparently they’ve run out of food entirely. As this shocking exposé in Wednesday’s edition of The Guardian explains, the Venezuelan public is now forced to “scramble” for “food” on account of the “socialist policies” of the government. Holy Crap, they’re STARVING DOWN THERE! You’d think you would’ve heard about it earlier. Where are the telethons? Where is Sally Struthers?
Oh wait. Reading down, you find out that there are only a couple of kinds of foods that are in short supply. And that’s pretty much because poor people have some walking around money for the first time and are actually competing for the milk, eggs and sugar with everyone else. Whew. No need to mail your leftovers to Caracas. Which is good because Tofurkey starts to smell after a day or two.
UPDATE: Right on cue, the Pittsburgh Tribune Review used the Guardian story as the basis for its editorial on the "famished Venezuelans" and the dangers of socialism.